"Suffer not my eyes to hunger for your face"

I was sitting on the bulkhead yesterday and saw a tall ship off in the distance, and I pretended for just an instant; that I was a native...and how frightening and glorious that must have been to see. Because I knew what it was, I found it to be a lovely sight. Much like what I've been going through these past twelve months. Frightening and glorious simultaneously. I walked out on my twenty year marriage. Jumped into the void; empty handed. I have no regrets. I disappeared into the person I was in love with. I lost me in him. I took vows: until death do us part, in sickness and in health. I broke these vows in order to save my own life. This is my guilt. I had been grieving because this is a death. The death of our life together. "Suffer not my eyes to hunger for your face". It was not a garment I cast off, but my skin; that I tore off with my own hands. Nor was it a thought I left behind me; but a heart. Only one loving look cast backward. The day of my parting; has also been my day of gathering. That eve, was in truth: my dawn.

The waves of the sea have separated us now, and the years you have spent in my midst became a memory. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by my own understanding of love......