Now, THAT was a performance! LOL!

From June 18, 2014, when I saw him at Crusty's son's house; jumping in and out of his truck. No cane while climbing the stairs to: a bent over, shaking, pretending to not be able to stand, even with a cane on July 3 rd. I remember him practicing pain before he went to the doctors! Oh now THAT was rich...The judge said "collossal bs" referencing his defense....The Judge couldn't have said it better. Lol! Crusty and Glen sat there and actually backed up this stunt....I wonder if it ever occurs to them; that he's bsing them as well! Lol!
Oh Crusty explains that I'm scorned...AND want her truck, as an explanation of why I pressed charges on him....AGAIN! I pressed charges because he hit me again in a drunken, drug withdrawal...on the 5th of the month, after I got home from being hospitalized for panic attacks, for Christ's sake. I told him THAT day "it's not the worst hit I've taken from you, but it's the last. I will be leaving the marriage beginning this day"; as he sat at the kitchen table smoking crack from a beer can. You. Crusty. Are/Were Not a part of the equation at all at the time. In fact he didn't meet you until the 20th of that month. He said "well, her legs were wide open; so I f**ked it". I saw you the 22nd of this same month (at the Brickhouse smooching all over one another), and at that point, I was almost moved out. Maybe your ego tells you that you snagged/stole my husband...not so. I was already gone. I couldn't press charges because (as you know) he had combed every street and found my son's car, and hence found where I lived. He and Robert drove by several times daily, along with YOU, once that I saw. He called me up to 17 times daily when you were at work. When you found out that he and I visited at Robert's house...you promptly quit your job, stating they were mean to you. Lol. When I gave up and moved again, where YOU and he did not know where I was...is when I pressed charges. That is also when I   filed for divorce.

The pictures of my face were not doctored at all. You are really 'seeing' things. Did your head hit the headboard one too many times?

He stole BOTH of my caddy's. His name was taken OFF MY business in November 2006...through the courts in S.C. I am not doing business in his name. Never did. In fact I am not doing any business. However, I did begin to start a business for him...You know the one. Where he certifies vessels radio's etc. Lol! Capt. Jensen mean anything to you....

Both wrap yourselves in the warm cloak of victimhood...victim mentality. Look it up...suits him and you well.

Now, about belongings...he sold all of mine and his. Or pawned it for drugs...Nothing was left except what I saved for the kitchen, my books, and some of my art...like the mermaids which Ron and Morra made in likeness of me. He took 2 and made up some story about him getting them overseas. Lol! He never left the base. Never has been overseas. I gave him a few pots, pans, dishes, microwave, pictures, t.v., some furniture which he and you left behind for me to clean up out of our house. He drugged up everything we ever worked for.

Oh and I blocked you Antonia, sneaky little maggot.

Junk Yard Dog

I finally figured out what she reminds me of: a junk yard dog. Yep, that's it. My husband and I were having some trouble. He said "well, her legs were wide open, so I f*cked it". She has been down right rabid. My husband called me up to 11 times a day, but not on her days off; for months. She has been stead foot in the way of he and I talking. After 21 years of marriage I have a junk yard dog snapping at me and guarding what she thinks is hers.

I don't live there any longer...

We loved for many a year. I miss that sometimes. Then I remember....
He makes up stories about me, to cover his own guilts, now. Drugs and alcohol took him, and spite put him with trash. 
Now, he's stuck with trash. Mooching off of good folks for about a year and a half now with his trash. Some, not so good folks. 
So, I wonder how I stole my own coffee pot?
He and trash, trashed my house, and I was left to clean up the mess.
"I gave her everything"...hahaha... stole everything is much closer to the truth.
He drives her cadillac now. He tells everyone it's his. Just like he drove, and stole both of mine....
So, I was so terrible for 21 years? Not.

I don't live there any longer...with a monster.

Lost to me

Oh here I go again; thinking of loss. All the folks that I've lost along the way. Some through death, mournful marriage ending, and just natural change. Lost hope, dreams, plans. I'm not grieving as I was now. I miss Zachary, yet I am so grateful for him at the same time. I miss my dad. But I have reminders of my lost husband sometimes. I had hope that he would find his way. For his own sake. Well, and mine too. It's only been a little over a year, and 21 years were spent together. We went through hell together. Pictures of him keep surfacing, and little items, and I catch a glimpse of him on occasion. Memories flood my mind every now and then; and I shoo them away for fear of falling into a dark place. Or fooling myself. I long for my partner at times, when I KNOW he is no good for me. Good and bad; we were companions.
 Snow geese landed in the yard today, and I became melancholy. It's been bleak and cold this winter. Inside and out.  Living in this dilapidated old bungalow, has it's ups and downs. One down has been that when it snowed. It snowed inside the house! Lol. Yet, I'm making it okay.  The up is: watching the moods of the Chesapeake Bay every day.
Setting my mind on living the few years I have left on this journey, with purpose. Success in focusing on pleasant tasks to make me better; and heal this most shattered heart of mine.

Recently...

Someone asked me if I knew you. So many memories flew through my mind. Some so very happy, and some so completely sorrowful. I realized as I smiled that a tear was on my lash; and I told them : I used to